Only The Good

An escape pod docks with the Dwarf and is carrying the only survivor of a ship which was attcked by a genetically-engineered corrosive lifeform. Unfortunately, the corrosive material is also on board and begins to eat away at Red Dwarf. Meanwhile Lister tricks Kryten into believeing that Kochanski’s ‘time-of-the-month’ is an event to be celebrated and he embarrasses himself in front of her. Plotting revenge, Kryten steals four flagons of illegal alcohol from an inmate and leaves it in Lister and Rimmer’s cell just before an inspection. Lister discovers the alcohol and he and Rimmer are forced to drink it before their inspection. They only take one mouthful out of the bottle and are immediately drunk. Meanwhile, the crew learn of the lifeform destroying Red Dwarf and plan to abandon ship, leaving the prisoners aboard to die. The gang figure out a way to combat the lifeform by creating a doorway into an opposite universe and finding the opposite to the corrosive material. Rimmer goes through the doorway first but the machine malfunctions and he is stuck there until the others can fix it. Rimmer finds the formula for the opposite substance and goes back to his reality, but he learns that the ship is rapidly breaking apart and the others are nowhere to be found. He goes to make the formula but realises that it has reverted to the corrosive substance and is useless. He is knocked out and lies on the floor awaiting the inevitable when the Grim Reaper appears and tells him that his time has come. Rimmer gets up and unceremoniously knees Death in the groin, and quips: “Remember, Only The Good Die Young!” THE END…… THE SMEG IT IS!!!