Meltdown

Kryten discovers a matter transporter in the research labs and the crew decide to teleport somewhere. It takes Rimmer and Kryten to a planet with a breathable atmosphere, but several (unrealistic) monsters chase them and eventually they get captured by Elvis and Pope Gregory. Cat and Lister, on the other hand are brought to the Third Reich HQ where Hitler, Goering and Goebbels are preparing a battle. Because they don’t know how to use the matter paddle properly and cannot leave, Lister and Cat are captured and thrown in prison. Rimmer and Kryten are taken to a barracks where Einstein, Pythagoras, Stan Laurel and Marilyn Monroe are arguing. They are told about the planet being a giant wax theme park where the wax droids have been left for millions of years and have broken their programming. Kryten and Rimmer are informed about a war between the good characters and the evil ones which will soon be over as the goodies are hopelessly outnumbered. Rimmer declares that it is his destiny to lead them in the war and inspects his ‘troops’; forcing Ghandi to do pushups and insulting St Francis of Asisi. The Cat and Lister manage to escape prison with the help of Abraham Lincoln and head back. Lister objects to Rimmer’s battle plans so Rimmer orders Elvis to arrest him and Cat. Rimmer eventually ‘wins’ the war by sending all his troops across a minefield except Queen Victoria and Kryten, who shoot Hitler and then turn up the heaters so everyone melts. Lister is disgusted at Rimmer’s attitude toward killing the entire population of the planet and swallows Rimmer’s light-bee, which projects his image.