Balance Of Power

Lister finally gets a reprieve from Rimmer’s boring inventory checks and goes for a drink. Sitting in the empty bar, he flashes back to a disco that he attended with his mates, Petersen, Chen and Selby; and finally realises that he is alone. After he wallows in self-pity for being alone in deep space, Lister pleads with Rimmer to allow him to create a hologram of Kristine Kochanski, an upper-class love interest. When Rimmer invokes his standing as a superior crew member (2nd Technician as opposed to 3rd Technician) and flatly refuses, Lister plans revenge and threatens to take the exams to become an officer and outrank him. Rimmer scoffs at the idea but wakes up in the morning to discover that Lister is off studying for the chef’s exam, a fairly basic one but an officer’s position nonetheless. Rimmer tries to discourage Lister from taking the exam and even orders him not to but Lister doesn’t give in saying that the only way he wont take the exam is if Rimmer lets him see Kochanski. On the day of the exam, Kochanski walks in and Lister is stunned beyond belief. However, Kochanski tells him that she isn’t interested in him and wants a real man. Lister is hurt but is puzzled at the way she speaks. He tricks her by commenting on the night that they had sex, and she replies in disbelief, proving to him that it is actually Rimmer. Lister tells Rimmer to go away and he finishes the exam. Lister comes from the exam room to receive his results and Rimmer asks how he did. Lister’s face is expressionless until he leaps in the air and shouts “How’d I Do Mr Lister, Sir!”